


its us against the world

by theinvisblewriter



Category: Fear the Walking Dead (TV), The 100 (TV)
Genre: Elyza is my bae, F/F, Reincarnation, Soulmates, alicia is a stubborn puppy, badass with a soft heart, hella australian, hellbent on playing hard to get, i just really love lexark, immortal gays, lexark, makes alot of lame jokes and pick up lines, never stops flirting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-11
Updated: 2016-03-17
Packaged: 2018-05-26 03:40:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6222190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theinvisblewriter/pseuds/theinvisblewriter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One minute she's saving Alicia's life, sawed off shotguns, tense muscles and leather jacket flaring in the wind, the next she's all sexy smirks and frisky eyes full of shooting stars and relentless flirting. </p>
<p>Later on Alicia would wonder what part of her she fell for first, or if she fell for her all at once, crashing together like the sky and the earth when they first met.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Late nights rescues and candlelight dinners

She blames Chris. Chris and this stupid fucked up world she’s caught in right now and all the fucking zombies that used to be real fucking people. 

But mostly she blames Chris. She’d just been trying to make him feel better. Trying to get some life into the hollows that had been carved into his eyes since Liza had died 2 days ago.

Then he went and told her to fuck off. Said that she didn’t know what it was like to lose her mom. And yeah sure, he was right. But dammit she knew what it was like to lose someone important. She had lost Matt. She lost him. So she spit a ‘fuck you’ right back and ran. 

And now she’s here alone, lost, breathless, and scared shitless, surrounded by a relentless population of walkers. Fucking Chris.

“Shit.” She mutters, stumbling over her own feet as she turns a corner. More walkers. They groan and tear at the air with their dead hands, turn their unseeing eyes towards her and moan louder as they lurch forward. 

Alicia chokes back a panicked sob and runs the other way. They’re fucking everywhere. Her eyes dart about in unsteady rhythm. She looks for the ocean. Hears for the call of her name. Something familiar. But all she finds is blood and broken windows on broken houses and the wet hissing of the dead that roam the haunted neighborhood. 

Each time she turns a corner there’s another walker. She keeps running. Her heels are burning almost as much as the tears blurring her vision. Her hand comes up to swipe at them messily as she cuts across a front yard. 

A sudden hiss catches her off guard and she stops dead in her tracks, the jolting motion throws off her balance and then she’s falling. The hard lawn under her knocks her breath away and it takes long seconds for it to return. 

There’s a walker 10 steps in front of her. He looks young. Probably her age. He’s wearing a white Class of 2015 shirt painted in 50 shades of bloody carnage. He groans at her and stumbles her way. From the corner of her unfocused eyes she spots three more headed in her direction. 

Alicia tries to remember how to get up, tells herself to keep running, but there’s lead in her bones, thorns in her lungs, and a pulling on her heart as she looks at the walker. He is so, so young. Like Matt. Like her. Fuck.

The thought jolts her back into action and suddenly she’s back pedaling on the ground, frantically trying to get her trembling limbs in control. The walker is closer now. Closer. Closer.

There’s blood dripping from a giant gouge in his stomach, the hissing buzzes in Alicia’s ears like an alarm. Her skin is vibrating, her breath hot and tight as it races past her cracked lips. What the fuck are her legs doing? Where are her arms? 

Fuck, she’s going to die here. She can’t fucking move right and she’s going to die here, eaten alive and slowly rotting to death. 

And then she’ll be one of them. 

Her eyes clench closed, the veins in her neck pulsing painfully with the effort to control her fear and desperation.

It’s so cheesy. It happens just like it would in the movies. The feeling of time slowing down. The sound of blood rushing in her ears and the choking of her last breaths in her windpipe. She feels the shadow come over her. He must be practically on her now. Her eyes squint open; a final show of bravery because Alicia Clark has never been a weak ass bitch. 

She has just enough time to take in the figure standing over her, black leather jacket, black jeans, black combat boots, golden hair, but not enough to realize what’s really going on before the shots begin to go off. 

One shot. Two Shots. 

Two walkers crumple to the ground. The young boy with the crimson splattered graduation shirt stares right into her wide eyes as the blood gushes from the jagged bullet holes in his forehead. 

The gunshots are echoing in her ears. She loses count of how many go off but she counts how many walkers fall to the ground. 

Three. Four. Five. Six. 

There are six walkers dead, or dead again, when the gunshots stop. She looks up at the person standing over her, hands raised at her sides in a ready position, smoke billowing from a sawed-off shotgun in each hand. Dressed in all black from head to toe and hair the color of morning sun – she’s the vision of an avenging angel. 

She wonders if she’s imagining her. She blinks fast three times. Still there. Back still heaving, hands still clenching around her shotguns. She’s real. And she just saved her ass. Her hands, braced against the dead grass under her are tingling with electricity. Alive. She’s alive. 

The girl over her blows at the smoke from her shotguns and places them in a holster on each side of her hip. When she turns there’s a ring of moonlight outlining her wild honeyed hair and amusement clinging from her smirking lips. 

Alicia stares, wide eyes and quivering lips up at the girl she owes her life too, and sees the intense blue of her eyes against her lids with every blink. 

“You all right there sweetheart?” The girl says, an eyebrow quirking up at her. She has an accent. Australian. Strong, heady and thick with the throaty quality of her voice.

It takes Alicia a good moment to respond. “Yeah,” She nods, making sure she’s regained control of all her muscles, “Uh. Thanks.”

“Don’t thank me yet,” The girl says offering her a hand, “There’s still plenty of those bastards around.” 

Alicia swallows down the lingering threads of panic lacing in her throat and grabs onto her hand like she’s the anchor that’s going to keep her from sinking any moment now.

The girl hums lightly as she helps Alicia up, her arms coming to wrap around her waist when Alicia stumbles on her still slightly shaky legs. 

“Easy there. Come on, up you go.” The girl chuckles out smoothly. The smirk that still hasn’t left her lips comes across a little cocky. It fits though. Goes with her whole cool, badass image or whatever. 

Her arm is strong and comforting around Alicia and the whispered “you’re okay, you’re safe” in her ear fills her with a sense of familiarity that makes her breaths come just a bit easier. 

Who is this?

A weird feeling of comfort and calm comes over her when the girl brushes her hands against the sleeves of Alicia’s jacket to dislodge the blades of grass and speckles of dirt that have stuck to it. 

Who is this?

Alicia’s eyes squint at the war paint and the cocky smirk and the shiny little cog, flat against her collarbone, that hangs from a red stringed necklace.

“Who are you?”

“Name’s Elyza,” She says, tilting Alicia’s chin up with her fingertips, her eyes darting over her skin in examination. “Elyza Lex. No bites right?” 

Alicia pushes her hand away, lips quirking in shaky annoyance. “No. I’m haven’t – I’m not bitten.”

Elyza’s smirk only grows, her hands coming up in a surrender position in front of her. 

“Easy there buttercup. Just making sure I don’t get turned into a bloody walker,” she tilts her head to the side, her eyes sparkling with mischief, “though I wouldn’t exactly mind if you took a bite out of me.” She winks, smirks wider. 

It takes a moment for Alicia to react but then she rolls her eyes and turns her head away when she feels the color pink burn onto her cheeks like a hot brand. Who the hell is this girl?

“Are you really trying to pick up girls in the middle of an apocalypse?” She mutters trying her best to hold back the ‘are you serious right now’ smile pushing against her lips. 

“There’s no better time,” Elyza grins, “It’s the end of the world princess, you gotta live it up.”

“It’s Alicia.” She tells her, crossing her arms when she finally manages to look back at her. 

There’s a strand of golden hair tickling her cheek in the wind, her skin looks soft and her are eyes confident but warm and twinkling like they’re full to the brim with shooting stars. 

Alicia looks away again. She’s pretty. Really, pretty. Has the whole sexy thing going for her. There’s a weird swirling in her stomach. She blames it on the leftover panic running through her system.

“Just Alicia?” 

“Alicia Clark.” 

There’s silence afterwards and Alicia looks back at Elyza curiously. Her smirk has fallen slightly, her eyes narrowed and far away into a thought Alicia can’t reach. 

“What?” Alicia asks cautiously, eyeing her far off expression. 

Elyza shakes away the clouds in her eyes, all stars again, twinkling in their blue backdrop. She grins at her and goes to say something when a loud hissing breaks the air between them. 

“Shit.” Alicia’s heart plummets. Three walkers drag their dead limbs along the dusty street next to them. They reach out in their direction with their mangled arms. 

Without really thinking about it her hand reaches out to cling onto the sleeve of Elyza’s leather jacket. She hates the fear and the helplessness that comes over her when she sees them. She fucking hates walkers. 

“Looks like we have some company.” Elyza says through a sly grin. There’s mischief in her eyes. Her hand reaches for one of the shotguns on her hip. 

Alicia’s fingertips start to shake around the smooth leather in her hand. She grips tighter, swallows the bitter taste in her mouth. 

Elyza takes her hand. “It’s alright I’ve got you cupcake.” 

And then they’re running. 

“It’s Alicia.” She gasps out, trying to keep up. 

“Right, right.” Elyza says, smirking at her over her shoulder “Alicia Clark.” 

For some obscene reason Alicia can’t possibly place the way she says her last name makes her chest ache acutely. She blames it on the running.

~~~

Alicia doesn’t know how there can even be so many of them. Every time Elyza shoots two, four appear around the next corner. The sheer amount of them makes her skin quiver nervously. She hopes her mom is safe. Nick too. She misses him. She misses all of them. Even Chris. She wonders if they miss her too.

“Hey, don’t slow down on me, we’re almost there.” 

Alicia’s lungs are heaving, she’s never been in excellent shape, it’s definitely coming back to bite her in the ass now. She tightens her hand around Elyza’s to tell her she’s trying.

“Where’s there?” She huffs out. 

“You’ll see.” 

“How long?”

Elyza yanks her to the right, just as two walkers come down the street from the left. Thank god they’re slow as hell.

“Just a few more minutes.” 

“I don’t know if I can – 

“Yes, you can. Come on princess, look at those beautiful long legs. Use them.” 

Alicia rolls her eyes tiredly, “Alicia.” She grunts out. Elyza chuckles breathily at her. The sound is soft and fluttery as it brushes past Alicia’s ears. 

Another walker appears off in the distance. Elyza curses under breath and leads her hurriedly through a gate that leads into a backyard. They come out to another street on the other side. Alicia is hopelessly lost. All the houses look the same, the details all blurring together into a giant jumble in her mind. 

Elyza never falters though, she darts forward to the left like she never diverted from her path. The certainty in her steps makes Alicia feel safer, even if only a little.

Alicia eyes the shotgun in Elyza’s hand, “Why did you stop shooting?” 

“Out of ammo.”

“What!?”

Elyza chuckles again, “Don’t worry I have more, just not on me.”

Alicia’s eyes are wide with building panic. She speeds up a little so they’re side by side.

“What if we get cornered or something.” 

Elyza shrugs playfully, “Then I guess we join the party. Seems like everyone’s dying to be invited anyway.” 

“Not funny.” Alicia chokes out. Definitely not funny. Her jaw clenches painfully, every bone in her body is heavy again, limbs tight like wires crackling with electric dread. 

She could never – she rather be run over by a pickup truck 100 times than turn into that. She can’t, she won’t – 

“Hey.” Elyza says firmly, her voice deep and serious. She slows down a little so Alicia can have a steady look at the promise in her eyes. 

“I’m kidding. I won’t let anything happen to us – I’ll take them out with my bare hands if I have to. I’ve got you, yeah?” She squeezes her hand, the pressure of her thumb falling over a throbbing vein in Alicia’s hand.

Alicia smiles slightly at her, studies the stars reflected in her eyes and nods. The smile she receives in return reaches into her chest and tightens around her wild, racing heart. It’s warm and comforting and fills her with confidence. Makes her feel ok for a second in the midst of the shit storm they’ve been thrown into. 

She won’t say it, because Elyza will probably get all cocky and smirky and all but she’s incredibly grateful to have her here right now, with her, lucky that she’s the one that saved her. 

“Just a few more blocks now. Stay with me angel.” 

Alicia forgets to correct her. 

~~~

‘There’ is a house. Tall and pretty like most of the houses in the area. But this one has a huge padlock on the front door and a giant E.L scribbled on the wall with black spray paint. 

Elyza pulls her up the front porch, her skin flushed and beaded with sweat from the run over here. 

They haven’t spotted a walker for a while now, but Elyza insisted they keep running. ‘The sooner we get there the better’ she had told her and she was right, so Alicia had tried, she really, really had. But the last few blocks were torture and Elyza practically had to drag her the entire way. She’s fucking exhausted. 

“You look like you’re about to pass out.” Elyza laughs breathily as she pushes open the door with her foot. 

“I am.” Alicia grumbles back.

“Huh,” Elyza smirks, pulling her into the dark entryway of the house and closing the door behind them, “I always knew I was charming, but to make the ladies want to faint – damn I’m good.” 

Alicia is about to offer up whatever exhausted, weary comeback is coming through her lips but she freezes when Elyza lets go of her hand. The empty air hits her hand like a chilling ghost. 

She surges forward, clumsily grabbing hold of the end of Elyza’s fingertips.

They stand frozen in the entryway. Alicia looks down at the ground. She doesn’t even know what came over her. She has no excuse for her behavior. She tries anyway. 

“It’s dark. I can’t see where I’m going.” She says softly into the silent house. 

Elyza tugs at her hand, taking it back in her own, fingers interlaced. Alicia looks at her. Even with all the darkness she still sees the understanding sparkling in the blue of her eyes. She’s thankful for it. Elyza squeezes her hand and Alicia feels her nerves uncoiling, becoming loose and fluid under her gaze. 

“It’s okay to be scared Alicia.”

“You’re not.” 

Elyza laughs softly. “Of course I am. Why do you think I make so many lame jokes and pick up lines? Everyone shows their fear differently, but we’re all a little lost, all a little scared right now. You’re not alone. We’re all in this together – the ones who made it that is.”

She shrugs and Alicia can’t really see it but she feels the smirk wrapping around Elyza’s lips and the words that fall from it.

“Besides, I’m a bit more prepared than you Americans. In Australia we have spiders the size of your head that chill in the kitchen from time to time. Someone’s got to take care of those.” 

Alicia smiles genuinely, something that feels rare these days. For some reason there are tears in her eyes. If Elyza notices she doesn’t mention anything, just rubs her thumb over the top of her hand and tugs her gently further into the house. 

“What were you doing out there in the middle of the night without any weapons anyway?” Elyza asks, leading her slowly and carefully up a flight of stairs. “If I hadn’t been on patrol for cute girls to rescue you would have been walker chow by now.” 

Alicia quirks a brow up in amusement, “That’s not actually a thing you do is it?”

“You’re ignoring the question.” 

“So are you.”

“I asked first.” 

Alicia sighs, “I had a fight with my step-brother, that and everything’s been sort of piling up since this whole disaster started. I guess I just couldn’t handle it anymore,” She shrugs, “So I ran. I’m not from around this neighborhood – we’re staying with this guy Strand or whatever. I got lost pretty fast. Ran into some walkers, ran some more, got even more lost – you get the picture.”

“Strand… He has that huge house on the water doesn’t he? Near the old, broken down skate park on the rocks.” 

“Yeah that’s it.” 

“I know the way. I can take you back tomorrow, soon as we’re up. I would take you now but it’s late and the walkers get funky around 3am. It’s weird.”

Alicia feels the weight of a thousand worries lift from her shoulder, “Thanks. My mom – I’ve been gone for a while now, and we just lost someone so she’s probably a mess.”

Elyza hums in understanding, leads her down a hallway saturated in moonlight by a far off window. Alicia can see better now, but she still doesn’t let go of Elyza’s hand. Elyza doesn’t move to let go either. 

“My mum, she’s probably freaked out too. Haven’t seen her since last summer, and last time I spoke to her – before the phones got cut off, everything was going to shit over in Australia too. Heard there were even some kangaroo zombies hopping about. Would have loved to have seen that.” 

Elyza laughs, but it’s a little too shaky, too soft. Alicia can see it now, the fear and worry she hides behind the curtain of humor and the curved line of her saucy smirk. Alicia laughs with her and neither of them can tell whose hand is shaking in whose. 

They end up in a room at a far end of the hall. Elyza shuts the door behind them with a gentle click and places her hand against the wall with a quiet “hold on”.

Alicia watches her shadowy figure flit across the room, some scuffling and scattering of items later there’s the flicker of a match and the smell of fire and smoke. Candles. Lots of them. Elyza moves around the room until there are ten of them lit up, filling the room with jumping yellow hues. 

She smirks as Elyza finishes lighting the last candle. “Did you raid a candle factory or something?”

The other girl just shrugs, “I just happen to like having them around. Even before the lights cut off. They’re comforting. Plus, “ she says turning slightly so she can arch a brow at Alicia, “You never know when you might need to set the mood.”

Alicia leans against the wall, bites her lip to contain her smile. “Well, isn’t someone romantic…”

“You bet your cute butt I am,” Elyza chuckles, blowing a kiss in her direction before stripping off her leather jacket and placing it carefully along the back of a computer chair. 

Alicia shakes her head and pretends she doesn’t feel the heat on her face or the endearing tickle in her stomach. 

Elyza looks up at her, tilts her head towards a cardboard box in the corner of the room, “Hungry?”

Alicia shrugs, “Whatcha got?” 

She pulls out a few bags of chips, some crackers and a few slim-jims from the box and shrugs back, “Nothing too substantial really. But enough to get us through tonight. I’ve been running low lately,” She turns back to rummage in the box, mutters the next phrase like it’s more a thought to herself, “Guess that means I have to switch houses soon. Shame. I liked this one.” 

“Oh,” Alicia says curiously, dropping down next to the pile of chips Elyza had pulled out. “This isn’t your house then? You don’t actually live here.” 

Elyza opens up a bag of Doritos, brows furrowing, “Well, it’s my house for the week. No one really owns anything anymore you know. The rules sort of change when half the population turns into undead beings.”

Alicia looks at her thoughtfully, opens her own bag of chips. She wonders if maybe someone is living in her house now, lighting candles in her room, eating her favorite pop tarts in the kitchen…

“Damn.” Elyza growls softly, staring down at her bag of chips. “I didn’t even get to use the balcony.” 

“What balcony?” Alicia asks, narrowing her eyes in slight confusion.

Elyza looks up at her, trouble shining in her blue eyes. Alicia feels like she walked right into a trap. 

The smirk is back, sly and captivating, and suddenly Alicia really regrets asking. “One of the rooms down the hall has a balcony, it’s nice and cozy and the view is pretty damn great. I wanted to play a few songs out there, maybe draw a bit,” she leans a bit closer then, tilting her head slightly so the candlelight makes her skin shine like gold. “It’s also a great spot for a nice pash. Interested?” 

Elyza’s eyes are smoldering and that stupid smirk couldn’t be more annoyingingly attractive. Alicia’s tongue is weirdly dry in her mouth. She’s hot all over. She blames the candles. 

Despite herself though she laughs. “A… pash? What the hell is a pash?” 

Elyza pulls pack, her lips curling up into a little pout. 

Alicia laughs harder. 

Elyza rolls her eyes at her good-naturedly and chuckles a bit when Alicia braces herself against a wall to pull herself together. 

“Yeah, yeah all right make fun of the Aussie.” She grumbles throwing a dorito at Alicia.

“I’m just messing with you,” Alicia says between leftover giggles, “I know what a pash is. And no I’m not interested – I’m straight.” 

Elyza tilts her chin up, face suddenly serious, “Oh, so am I.”

“You are definitely not.” Alicia says, giving her a ‘yeah right’ look. If Elyza is straight than Alicia is most definitely gay. 

“Sure I am,” Elyza smiles devilishly, letting go of her serious act, “I’m just a super straight girl looking to have a good old pash with a gal pal up on a balcony. No biggie.” 

Alicia can’t help but smile. Really she’s trying to find this all incredibly annoying. The smirks and the winks and the pick up lines and the flirting but really she hasn’t felt this light, this carefree in a while. She likes Elyza. She’s makes her feel like the world isn’t still crumbling around them. 

“Well. I suggest you find yourself another ‘gal pal’ if that’s the case. This one’s not interested.” She crumples up her bag of finished chips, and looks straight into those frisky blue eyes. A challenge. 

Elyza licks her lips and Alicia has to put in effort so her gaze doesn’t drift down to watch. 

“You’ll come around.” Is all she says. She winks. Alicia hates the winks. Except she really doesn’t.

“Take the bed,” Elyza grunts as she stands from her place on the ground. “We’ll head out early tomorrow, so get some rest.” 

“Where are you going?” Alicia asks, trying to contain her sudden panic when Elyza starts moving towards the door. The last thing she wants is to be alone. Sleep alone. Especially here, where nothing is familiar. Nothing except Elyza. 

“Bathroom.” She calls back.

Alicia is silent but Elyza still looks back at her. Arches a perfect brow and smiles softly. 

“I’ll be back.” 

Alicia takes a deep breath filled with relief. The understanding shines in Elyza’s eyes again and it’s like she knows. Like she knows Alicia. It makes her chest hurt all over again. 

Elyza does come back, and Alicia is already sprawled on the bed deep in exhausted sleep. She still feels the blanket being thrown over her and gentle fingers that linger slightly on her back. Alicia smiles in her sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A very long chapter where a lot of shitty things happen and some not so shitty things too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just really want to say thanks to everyone for all the love on this fic, you're all beautiful little cinnamon rolls and deserve all the best. 
> 
> ** Also for the peeps in the comments that pointed out my love for headcannons... you don't understand i live for ALL the lexark headcannons.

 

Alicia dreams of loss. Or atleast, that’s the only way she can describe it.

 

She dreams of tears in her eyes, quaking in her chest, and a biting fear in the pit of her stomach even as the words “Do not be afraid,” tremble around her lips. She doesn’t know what she’s losing but she _feels_ it with an immensity that makes her head feel like it’s swimming, her lungs feel like they’re drowning.

 

There’s a person she can’t recognize standing over her. That person, Alicia feels her loss too.

 

The communion of their grief is so strong it rattles in the deepest hollows of her bones. She feels it in the words being spoken that she can’t distinguish and the hand in her hair she can’t see, and the darkness ebbing into her vision that she can’t blink away.

 

It’s right before the darkness takes her, when she feels the pressure of a shaking hand over hers, holding, begging, praying, that Alicia realizes that her and this person, they are not only grieving together – they are grieving each other.

 

She wakes with tears in her eyes, and the same fear gnawing into her stomach. She rolls her head to the side and groans when her head pulses with sudden pain. Every bone in her body _hurts_ and fuck she feels like utter shit – like 10x worse than that one hangover she had back in sophomore year, and that was _bad_.

 

When she blinks her eyes enough to center her vision, the first thing she sees is a hand over hers. Except this hand isn’t a live wire of sorrow. This one is warm and steady over hers and it grounds her and fills her with relief so sudden it leaves her ruthlessly lightheaded.

 

She blinks again, rubs at the tears lingering in her eyes and looks the hand over hers. It’s Elyza’s hand. She’s sitting on a computer chair wheeled up beside the bed, legs crossed under her, back bent over so her head can rest on the edge of the mattress by Alicia’s stomach.

 

Alicia stares at her in confusion, head against the pillow, her hand tingling where Elyza’s fingertips twitch slightly in sleep.

 

There are questions running through her mind, emotions flooding in her veins, everything is slightly spinning and nothing is making sense.

 

It feels like she’s missing a part of herself – or maybe like she’s stumbled over a part of herself she didn’t know she was missing and now everything is throbbing and sensitive and trying to figure out where the new parts fit.

 

It takes what feels like hours for her to start feeling better – if ‘better’ is even a word she can use for this situation. Maybe normal is a better word than better. Yeah. She feels normal. More numb than throbbing and more sleep-sore muscles and bleary vision than searing headaches and stinging eyes.

 

Next to her, Elyza stirs in her sleep, her head bobs slightly to the right, brow wrinkling in her sleep. She’s drooling slightly and Alicia should probably think it’s gross or something but somehow she finds it endearing. Clearly, her mind is still not all there.

 

She reaches out a finger, presses it against the furrows in her brow to smooth them out and Elyza wakes with soft fluttering eyes and a sharp inhale through her nose. Hell of a light sleeper. Alicia pulls her finger back.

 

“Hey,” Elyza says, voice and low and raspy with clinging sleep, “You’re awake.”

 

“Yeah.” She says, and watches her straighten up and stretch her back with a loud groan. She tries to ignore the way her hand feels uncomfortably cold when Elyza removes her hand over it. “Rough night?”

 

“Just a bit. _Someone_ had me up all night, and not in the fun way.” She squints an eye open at her, “Do you always talk in your sleep?”

 

Alicia pushes up on her elbow. She never talks in her sleep, but with a dream like last night she wouldn’t be surprised if she had.

 

“No… What did I say?”

 

Elyza yawns, rests her chin on her knuckles and snorts lightly with laughter like she’s recalling it, “Well, you were mostly just whimpering a lot, said ‘please’ sometimes, so I figured you were either have a nightmare about something or a wet dream about me, I couldn’t tell.”

 

“Definitely not a wet dream.” Alicia mutters sarcastically, “And definitely not about you.”

 

“Your loss.” Elyza chuckles. It’s deep and rumbly and gives Alicia goose bumps on the back of her neck. She shrugs nonchalantly, so Elyza can’t see the chill that runs through her.

 

“I’ll survive.”

 

Elyza smiles up at her but then looks down thoughtfully, fingers picking at the blanket beneath them. She looks uncharacteristically shy all of a sudden, or wait, not shy. Embarrassed. Alicia squints at the little furrows on her forehead, the way her head is angled down just enough so that Alicia can’t see the color of her cheeks. She’s embarrassed and she she’s trying to hide it. Terribly, but she’s trying. A for effort.

 

“Um, last night I um – you told me not to go,” Elyza mutters. She’s trying to sound flippant but again, she’s terrible at it.

 

“I…What?”

 

Elyza glances up at her, waves her hand slightly like it’s not really important but continues on anyway.

 

“Last night when you were being all fussy, I tried to wake you – whatever you were dreaming about it was like really tripping you up at one point. You calmed down eventually but when I went to leave you said ‘don’t go’. I didn’t – I wasn’t sure if you were awake or not or if you were talking to me so yeah, that’s why I…” she trails off, motioning to herself and the bed. “I’m not like, some freak with a nighttime handholding fetish for strangers.” She pauses, smirks up at her. “Unless you’re into that.”

 

Alicia rolls her eyes but smiles nonetheless. There’s a fluttering in her stomach that feels an awful lot like affection. She tells herself it’s not but likes to think it is.

 

“Thanks – you didn’t have to but thanks.” She wrinkles her nose slightly, “and sorry, you know, for keeping you up.”

 

“Ah, no worries.” Elyza says, voice light in dismissal. She stands from the rolling chair and stretches up on tips of her toes. “It wasn’t that bad after a while, I slept just fine.”

 

Alicia smiles subtly down at the bed. She knows she’s lying. She sees the truth in the droopiness of her eyes and the dark circles below them.

 

Elyza drags herself lazily over to the curtains covering a window on the other side of the room. She pulls them apart, peaks outside.

 

“Looks like the neighbors are up.” She mutters.

 

Alicia sits up in bed, runs a hand through her head. “Walkers? They’re out there?”

 

“Oh yeah. Came to invite us down for breakfast.”

 

Elyza let’s the curtains fall back into place. She looks amused and Alicia can’t possibly think why anything having to do with walkers would bring anyone any sort of amusement. Then again, Alicia’s starting to realize that Elyza isn’t just anyone. She’s… something else all right.

 

“We should probably go.” Elyza says, looking at her from over her shoulder as she digs through a nearby duffel bag. “Before more of them show up.”

 

Alicia sighs, climbs out of bed with a groan and heads towards the window.

 

“How many are there?”

 

Elyza shrugs, “Nothing I can’t handle.”

 

When Alicia pushes the curtain out of the way there are 8 walkers outside milling about around the house. Alicia watches them circle like sharks, like they can _smell_ them in here.

She feels her heart start to race at the thought and takes a breath to calm herself. She’s fine. She has Elyza. She’s fine. She’s not exactly thrilled about the fact that her life depends on her but for now it’s all she has and she can’t afford to freak out. Not now.

 

The sound of clattering breaks her away from the window and the walkers and her thoughts. She looks over at Elyza and feels her eyes widen when she catches sight of the pile of weapons next to her on the hardwood floor. Alicia’s pretty sure there’s enough weapons to arm a small village. There’s rifles and pistols and guns she can’t even name, and crowbars, and knives and a baseball bat that looks more like a torture weapon – Jesus there’s even a fucking machete.

 

And Elyza’s just there, in the middle of the pile looking through the scope of huge ass hunting rifle, humming a catchy tune like she’s preparing for a camping trip or something. Unbelievable.

 

Alicia walks over, takes a pistol that’s strayed from the pile of weapons and turns it over experimentally in her hands. There’s something about the way it feels around her fingers that doesn’t settle well with her.

 

“Hey, do you – Whoa, whoa, ok no let’s put that down before somebody gets hurt.” Elyza says, voice loud in alarm.

 

Alicia looks at her over her shoulder, and arches a brow in question when she sees her hands in the air.

 

“I’m not even aiming it at anything.” She frowns.

 

Elyza steps towards her, reaching out to tug the weapon away from her hand. She widens her eyes and tilts her head like she knows something Alicia doesn’t.

 

“Yeah well, it’s the stray ones that get you.” She says matter of factly, “And since I’m the gayer one of us two, by default it’ll probably hit me first.”

 

She clicks something on the side of the gun, probably the safety, and throws it into the pile with the other weapons.

 

Alicia rolls her eyes, gives her a look, “I thought you said you were straight.”

 

Elyza bends over her duffel bag again and looks over at her with a playful glint in her eye, “Yeah, so did you. We all lie.”

 

“I wasn’t lying.”

 

“Well you weren’t telling the whole truth either were you?”

 

“What makes you think I’m not stra –” but the sentence dies on her lips when Elyza stands abruptly, and steps into her space.

 

She’s smirking that annoying smirk that Alicia hates and her eyes are doing that sparkling thing that Alicia hates even more. Her breath hitches and her heart is pounding painfully fast in her chest but she tries to push the rest of the words out of her mouth to show that she isn’t affected by whatever it is she’s doing.

 

Somewhere along the way though she loses the words to the fogginess in her mind and looks at her lips instead and, fuck, she’s pretty sure whatever Elyza was trying to prove Alicia just fell right into it.

 

“You were saying?” Elyza says, smooth and raspy and full with gloating.

 

Alicia looks into her eyes stubbornly. She doesn’t say anything because she’s pretty sure her voice is going to shake if she does and there’s no way she’s giving her that satisfaction.

 

Elyza smirks wider, leans in slightly and Alicia’s lips unconsciously part. She catches herself, barely, and presses them tightly back together but not before Elyza notices.

 

“That’s what I thought.” She whispers proudly, and the warmth fans across Alicia’s face and actually makes her fucking knees weak for a split second.

 

Elyza steps aside then, passes a hand through her mussed golden hair, and Alicia watches her fingers twitch when she drops them to her side. It’s a small victory, knowing that she’s not the only one affected.

 

She tells her that she’s going down to the kitchen to see if she can find something worth grabbing before they go.

 

Alicia watches her leave. There’s a fluttering in her stomach that feels an awful lot like affection. She tells herself it’s not but she knows it is.

 

 

~~~

 

When Elyza comes back, Alicia is by the window and there are three more walkers outside. Four if she wants to count the one just appearing down the street.

 

“Hungry?” Elyza asks, coming to stand next to her. There’s a shiny, red apple in her hands and Alicia doesn’t know where she got it but it looks relatively mold free and she hasn’t had anything resembling a fruit in a while so she takes it without asking.

 

“Thanks.” She mumbles, taking a bite out of it. It’s mushy, but still sweet and for some reason makes her feel nostalgic.

 

“You know,” Elyza says, leaning against the wall coolly, “If you were a fruit, you’d be a fineapple.”

 

Alicia just stares at her, her lips frozen against the apple in her hand. She’s actually in shock from how incredibly _lame_ that was.

 

“I can’t believe that just came out of your mouth.” She huffs, but turns towards the window so Elyza can’t see the giant, dumb smile spreading across her face because she can just picture this jerk finding an apple down in the kitchen and trying to find the worst pun possible to pair it up with so she can give it to Alicia. What a jerk. What an endearing, annoying jerk.

 

Alicia shakes her head at the clouds while she waits for Elyza’s laughter to subside next to her. She seems thoroughly delighted with her efforts.

 

“If you’re done being 10, I have an actual question about our actual problems.”

 

“What problems?” Elyza says, still slightly sputtering with laughter.

 

Alicia looks over at her incredulously.

 

“Um. How about the 13 bloodthirsty undead beings, literally waiting to rip us apart as soon as we step outside? How are we supposed to leave.” She asks her, “ There’s so many of them, we can’t take them all down.”

 

Elyza hums, looks down at the poor rotten bastards through the window “Well one, you underestimate me and two, don’t worry they’re not faster than us. We’ll be fine.”

 

Alicia arches a brow at her, “We’re just gonna run past them?”

 

“We’re not running.” Elyza clarifies, “We’re riding.”

 

“What, like a car?”

 

“Sort of. You’ll see.” Elyza says, smirking as she walks away to pick up the weapons she left on the floor.

 

Sometime in between the time she left the room and now she changed from a blue shirt to a white tank top and when she bends over the weapons the material rides up to reveal a sliver of smooth skin at the base of her back. Not that Alicia’s looking or anything ((but she so totally is))

 

She watches discreetly as she mills around the room, picking up her belongings and stuffing them in her duffel back, all nice and bundled up next to her daggers and her butcher knives. She puts a sawed off shotgun in one of her hip holsters and adds a pistol to the other then shrugs on her leather jacket, swings the hunting rifle over her shoulder and grabs a baseball bat in her hand because you know, three fucking guns just don’t cut it.

 

Turns out though, the bat is for her.

 

“You might not need it, but just in case.” Elyza tells her when she hands it to her minutes later.

 

“Why can’t I use a gun?” she asks, testing the weight of the bat in her grip.

 

“Because you’d probably end up shooting one of us first.” She deadpans, “Besides, this works just a well, just aim for the head hard enough and you’re good.”

 

Alicia stares at the bat, at the barbed wire wrapped around the head of it. She thinks of her bones vibrating with the impact of skulls against wood, someone’s blood soaking her hands, and coating her lips and her nose and the lids of her eyes. Someone who used to be a brother, a mother – someone that someone cared about.

 

She thinks that’s what gets to her. The fact that they still look human, sometimes they even still _feel_ human to her.

 

Her hands start shaking around the hilt of the bat but she doesn’t notice until Elyza wraps her hand around hers to steady it.

 

When Alicia looks up at her there’s that understanding in her eyes again. She’ll never get over it. How this girl who she just happened to cross paths with yesterday, can banter and flirt and be the biggest pain in her ass but then turn around and look at her like this when Alicia needs it most. Because she just looks at her and she _gets_ it. Alicia doesn’t get it, but Elyza, she does and that level of understanding makes her swell with an emotion that she can’t even explain.

 

“Hey.” Elyza says, soft but firm, “they’re not there you know. They may seem like they’re alive and breathing and walking but they aren’t there.” She places a hand over Alicia’s heart, “They aren’t there Alicia.”

 

She nods to tell her that she’s right. She knows she is. But it’s still hard. It still hurts. Elyza gets that too. She doesn’t say it but she nods back and looks at Alicia in a way that tells her that she does.

 

“Be strong okay.” Elyza murmurs, “We do what we have to do to survive. The dead are gone Alicia, the living are hungry.”

 

Alicia startles at the words. She knows those words. She’s never heard them but she _feels_ them. She feels them like she did in her dream. She feels them like she felt the loss.

 

And the way Elyza says the words, the reverence in her voice, Alicia knows she feels them too.

 

~~~

 

The ‘sort of a car but not really’ is a motorcycle parked in the house’s garage. A Harley to be more specific. It’s matte black with silver accents and Alicia’s never been one to think much of motorcycles but this one is _beautiful_.

 

“Is it yours?” She asks, running the tips of her fingers over its smooth surface.

 

“Yeah, I got her for my 18th birthday. We’ve been in love ever since.” Elyza says, smiling up nostalgically from an iPod she confiscated from one of the bedrooms in the house.

 

“I’ve always wanted to ride one.”

 

“Well then today’s your lucky day,” Elyza smirks.

 

She hands Alicia a backpack with her baseball back sticking out from the back and straps her duffel bag across her own shoulder.

 

“Alright, you all set? Don’t have to use the dunnie or anything before we go do you?”

 

Alicia shakes her head slowly and bites her lip to prevent herself from laughing, “The dunnie?”

 

Elyza rolls her eyes, waves her away with an amused smile, “The toilet, the bathroom, whatever.”

 

“No, I’m good.” Alicia says through her smile, a small huff of laughter escapes her, “No dunnie for me.”

 

“Oh shut up.” Elyza laughs, moving over to a button on the wall.

 

Alicia is too caught up in her teasing to realize what she’s doing, but when the garage door starts to open with a loud screech and the roar of turning gears her smile drops and she freezes. She grips tight to the leather seat of the motorcycle when she sees the feet appear from under the opening door.

 

Elyza walks over to her calmly, eyes glued to the iPod as she scrolls through it. She pops an ear bud into her ear and leans against her bike casually.

 

“Man, this poor bloke had the absolute worst taste in music.” She grumbles.

 

Alicia blinks at her, then back at the feet, who aren’t just feet anymore. They’re entire walkers, heads hissing in their direction as they stumble over to the driveway. The garage door stops roaring. There’s nothing between them anymore. Alicia tugs hard at the sleeve of Elyza’s jacket.

 

“Elyza, they’re right there.” She whispers over to her, panic rising in her voice.

 

“Hold on I have to pick a song first.”

 

Alicia shakes her head in disbelief, “You can’t be serious.”

 

“Of course I am,” Elyza scoffs like Alicia’s the one being unreasonable here, “What’s a fight without a killer soundtrack – oh here’s a good one, finally.”

 

There’s a walker almost at the threshold of the garage, an old man, his bloody, tattered shirt says World’s Best Grandpa. Alicia chest is tight, her eyes are stinging and when she closes them she sees the words coated in red over and over again.

 

Alicia tugs harder at Elyza, jostling her harshly, “Elyza I swear – stop fucking around.” She barks out, her eyes locked onto the walker about to enter the garage.

 

There are five more right behind him and Alicia has to blink twice to make sure she’s not just seeing double because when the _fuck_ did they all get here so fast.

 

“Alright, I’m going, I’m going.” She returns casually. She opens her duffel bag, pulls out the machete, says something about not wasting all the bullets, and looks up at the approaching walkers. She’s singing lightly under breath, her head rocking slightly up and down. “Be ready to hop on alright ok. I’m just gonna clear the way and then we’re out of here.”

 

Alicia nods quickly, bracing herself tensely on the leather seat of the Harley.

 

She thinks Elyza’s finally gonna go and charge or open fire or whatever it is she does but no, this bitch pulls out a little tub of what looks like black paint and smudges two quick lines of it with her finger under her eyes. Warpaint. Alicia can not believe her.

 

She does eventually charge forward though, and it’s so swift and quick that it leaves Alicia jarred and reeling. Elyza has the head of her machete lodged deep into a walker’s forehead before she can even recover. She wrenches it out with loud grunt and pulls the pistol from her waistband driving a bullet straight into another walker to her right with a speed and accuracy that Alicia can hardly keep up with. Both walkers crumple to the ground simultaneously, two boneless sacs of blood and organs.

 

Before their blood soaks the cement of the garage floor Elyza is already lunging at another walker, it’s the World’s Best Grandpa, and when he opens his mouth wide to release a bloodthirsty hiss he eats Elyza’s blade straight across, nearly slashing his face fully in half. He rebounds fast, his face dripping with glistening blood and unhinged at the jaw, but Elyza is already on him pistol pressed right up to his forehead, she pulls the trigger, no hesitation, and the blood and the bone and the _pieces_ of him liter the red-stained cement under him.

 

Alicia falls to her knees and throws up with a force that wracks her entire body and leaves her a quivering mess. She can’t do this. She thought she could but she can’t, she fucking can’t – that was someone’s grandpa. Some fucking little kid with big eyes and big dreams and a big heart and that was his _grandpa_.

 

“Alicia!”

 

She looks up unsteadily, her vision blurry with tears and her throat stinging with bile. Elyza is looking at her, eyes wide with frantic worry, but a walker lunges at her from the right and she looks away, lashes out with her machete, disoriented and uncoordinated in her movements for the first time, and catches him square across the neck. The blood soaks everything. There is blood on her face, dotting the individual strands of her golden hair, rolling down the leather of her jacket. Alicia throws up again.

 

She hears Elyza calling out to her again and again but her ears are ringing and she is quaking like a bomb about to go off. She manages to pull her shaky head up enough to look into Elyza’s eyes. They are wild and frenzied and she has dropped her machete somewhere; the pistol in her hand is going off one bullet after the next but even from the back of the garage Alicia can see her hands are shaking, and her eyes can’t focus enough on the target to shoot straight because she keeps glancing back at her.

 

She is surrounded by three walkers, she shoots one down after two tries and goes for the second but the third is almost on her as well. She won’t have time. The second walker, she keeps missing him, and the third he is there, behind her, at arms length.

 

Desperate panic swells in Alicia’s chest and without thought her hands reach clumsily for the bat in the back of her backpack and her body is running forward, tears rushing from her eyes just as fast. She raises the bat over the walker just as his bloodied hands come in contact with Elyza’s jacket she brings it down against him with a loud cry and all the strength left in her body.

 

Her aim is off. The bat smashes against the top of his back almost at the nape of his neck and he crumples to the ground but recovers almost immediately, hissing up at Alicia from the ground as he grabs at her ankle, he pulls at her and Alicia struggles furiously against him, he almost manages to yank her to the ground before the bullet breaks through the back of his head. His grip around her ankle releases, and she falls to her knees, a mess of shivering nerves and accelerated fear.

 

Elyza is in front of her in a flash falling to her knees and taking her face into her hands tenderly, they are shaking around her skin and running through her hair in assurance and Alicia grabs onto her wrists and squeezes so she knows they both made it. They’re both alive.

 

Alicia looks into her blood stained face, and her wide blue eyes, and she heaves breath after breath from her agitated lungs until she no longer feels like she’s blacking out.

 

Elyza nods calmly down at her, swallowing the emotion clogging her throat. Alicia can tell she’s trying to keep it together for her.

 

“You did good princess.” She says softly and pulls Alicia forehead to hers. She nods against her. “You did good.”

 

~~~

 

They don’t leave until the sun starts to fall in the sky.

 

Alicia needs time to pull herself back together before she sees her mom and Elyza is glistening in blood from head to toe so they go back up into the house and Elyza showers with cold water and stale soap and Alicia lays on the bed and thinks until she falls asleep.

 

She feels better when she wakes up. Still shaken up, and sometimes when she closes her eyes all she sees is red but the whole thing feels more distant. Fuzzier. She repeats “we do what we have to do to survive” like a mantra and it helps. Her pulse calms down, her mind is less foggy, and she stops shivering against the covers of the bed. But the ache in her chest, that doesn’t go away. It burrows itself into her like a bitter seed and she learns to breathe steady with the roots digging into her lungs.

 

Elyza is quiet at first, but then she brings Alicia a glass of water and asks her “Water you thinking about?” And Alicia laughs like it’s the funniest thing she’s ever heard.

 

She asks her for a hug and Elyza obliges without hesitation. Alicia knows she wouldn’t have asked her for one first, but when her arms wrap around her and squeeze lightly against her back she gets the feeling Elyza needs this as much as she does.

 

When they head back down to the garage, Elyza tells her to wait while she checks to see if the coast is clear.

 

“I’m fine.” Alicia tells her stubbornly, because she refuses to be babied over this. That’ll only make her feel shittier than she already does.

 

Elyza looks over at her, sees the resolve in her eyes and nods with a small smile because like always, she gets it and Alicia is so, so thankful.

 

They enter the garage with weapons raised in the air, Elyza with her pistol and Alicia with her bat. Thankfully they don’t have to use them.

 

The blood is still everywhere, and the smell in the garage is overpowering with death so they hold their breath as much as possible and accommodate themselves on Elyza’s motorcycle. Alicia places her hands lightly on Elyza hips, and she looks back at her over her shoulder with a wide smirk in response to the touch.

 

“You might want to hold on a little tighter than that.” Elyza says and Alicia smiles and rolls her eyes because she totally just wants her to wrap her hands around her waist and Alicia feels like being a brat so she doesn’t.

 

“Just go.” she urges, smirking slightly.

 

Elyza shrugs and turns, revving the Harley to life.

 

“Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

 

The bike speeds out of the garage way faster than she was expecting and Alicia yelps and of course ends up pressed up fully against Elyza, cheek against her back and arms scrambling to wrap tightly around her waist.

 

“You did that on purpose.” Alicia yells over the wind rushing past them.

 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Elyza throws back but Alicia feels her back shake with laughter against her cheek and maybe it’s a combination of that and the wind running through their hair and the healthy beating of her heart and Elyza’s warmth pressed up against her but she laughs too and the wind takes it and throws it out into the world and for that moment she feels free and light and ok. She feels ok.

 

Elyza glances back subtly to check on her from time to time and Alicia pretends she doesn’t notice.

 

There’s a fluttering in her stomach that feels an awful lot like affection. She stops telling herself its not, because she knows it is.  

 

~~~

 

Strand’s house is dark when they get there except for a room upstairs and what looks to be the living room.

 

She is standing by the gate and Elyza leans against her motorcycle. It doesn’t seem like she has intentions of coming in.

 

Alicia spies a shadow pass through a window in the house. It looks like her mom. She’s missed her more than she lets herself admit. Nick. She hopes he’s okay. Hopes he hasn’t been too worried about her; he always gets a little desperate when shit goes wrong. She can’t wait to go back to them, back to her mom and her brothers and hell even Travis.

 

But, then there’s Elyza. She looks back at her, watches the moonlight light up her eyes with stars again. They do that in the nighttime. It’s beautiful. There’s an entire galaxy in there.

 

God.

 

She’s going to miss her. She hates it. She’s going to miss her and their stupid banter and the lame puns and stupid pick up lines and that damn smirk and those lovely eyes. She’s going to miss her so damn much.

 

She wonders if maybe…

 

“So.” She half smiles, crossing her arms loosely over her chest, “You’ve rescued the princess and brought her back to her castle, what’s up next for super zombie warrior Elyza Lex? Off to find yourself another princess?”

 

Elyza smirks widely, breathes out a small laugh, “Nah, I think I’ll swear off the princess rescues for a while. My last one was a bit of a handful.” She opens her mouth to say something else, but she licks her lips and seems to change her mind, “ I think I’ll just ride around for a while, scout out a new house for the week and take it from there. One day at a time.” She shrugs, nods slowly, but there’s something in the way she’s looking at her that feels like hope and – God, Alicia hopes she’s reading right but she’s not sure.

 

She goes for it anyway.

 

“You could…” Alicia motions over to the house behind them, “ you know… if you want.”

 

Elyza’s smirks playfully at her, but the twinkle in her eye that Alicia wants to call hope is bright and promising.

 

“I _don’t_ know actually,” she says, “You might have to spell it out for me.”

 

Alicia huffs. She definitely knows what she’s referring to, but Alicia sees it in her eyes. Elyza wants her to say it. She wants to hear it.

 

“You could stay.” Alicia blurts out, tucking a strand of her hair back stubbornly, “if you want to, you can stay here with – with us. We have enough room, and you’re good with the walkers, we could help each other out and stuff.”

 

Elyza looks down at her feet, nods like she’s contemplating it. It’s nighttime, and the street lamps are out and the clouds are covering up the moon right now but Alicia can still see the redness on her cheeks that she’s trying to hide.

 

She looks up at Alicia after a second and steps closer to her. Alicia tries her best not to fidget from the warmth and the closeness and the blue weight of her eyes on hers.

 

“Do you want me to stay?” She murmurs softly, her smile so suave and smooth it could charm the pants off a damn rock.

 

Alicia sputters slightly, and looks away. She shakes her head. What a jerk. She can’t believe she’s making her do this.

 

She shrugs nonchalantly, looks her fully in the eyes, “Yeah. I guess.”

 

Elyza breathes out a silent chuckle through her nose but her grin is threatening to spill over into an actual laugh. This is all so amusing to her. It’s like her favorite pastime: making Alicia squirm.

 

She shrugs too, “Okay. I’ll stay. I guess.”

 

There’s a fluttering in her stomach that feels an awful lot like affection. But affection is starting to feel like too small a word.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
